A Fine Line

First, allow me to apologize for the lack of blog posts / updates.  Rachel has been focusing very hard on helping Kevin and taking care of him that she hasn’t had the energy to write. She WANTS to write, she has told me several times how she wants to, and how helpful it is for her to write.  But for now, I’ll do my best to keep you informed.

Last week, on Monday, Kevin had an appointment where doctors told him that he wasn’t recovering from treatment well and his numbers continued to be poor, some of them stable and some of them worsening. They were told that it appeared as if Kevin’s bone marrow was not recovering and therefore not creating new white and red blood cells. The doctors told her that they could not give him any additional treatment until his bone marrow began to recover, and that if it didn’t, they would need to start looking into hospice care. Rachel began to look into ways to best help him start to gain weight and begin to heal from all that his body has endured these last few months so that he could get well enough again to hopefully qualify for the treatment that he had originally gone to LA for.

On Friday, they went back to doctor to see if he was improving and his numbers were slightly better than they had been on Monday, however he still needed 3 units of platelets and 3 units of blood. Kevin texted me saying that he felt pretty good once he’d had that.

Over the weekend, however, Kevin’s health began to decline again.  He has been very tired, unable to eat much, and battling nausea. For all that Rachel has been trying and how hard she is working to stay on top of his medicines and help him heal, he simply wasn’t.

This evening Rachel drove Kevin back to the hospital at UCLA to have him admitted. She felt that if he is to get better at all, he needs the kind of constant care and resources that a hospital staff can provide, as well as more immediate access to blood products as he needs them versus them driving back and forth to UCLA every time he needs them. Kevin has an appointment tomorrow to test his bone marrow to determine if it is recovering and the results of that test (and likely others that will be done) will give them the information they need regarding which way things will go.

Two things she has said that stand out in my mind over the last few days. First, that there is still hope. She has hope that he may yet recover and Kevin is still in the fight. He hasn’t thrown in the towel. There are treatment options yet to try and she feels that with diligent care and effort, Kevin can still pull through.

The second is her questioning where she is on the fine line between hope and denial. She has asked God to change her heart if she should come to a place of acceptance and He hasn’t yet. But the words hospice keep getting thrown and around and that has a way of dampening hope.

Rachel has asked that fly to LA on Tuesday and I’ll try to be helpful to her in any way I can as they figure out what the next step is going to be.

Please pray.  Rachel asked Lila to ask me to write to ask for your prayers. They need your prayers now more than ever. Won’t you join me in covering them in prayer and asking the Lord for his mercy, His grace, His healing, and His blessing on Rachel and Kevin?

17 thoughts on “A Fine Line

  1. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. May god give you peace. May god give Kevin strength. I will pray for your famy everyday.

  2. I have been told to accept hospice for my sister, also.
    I am an ombudsmen in a nursing facility, and have meant MANY put into care this way, (fear) is the first response, but many have recovered, over and over, and they are angry, because, the hospice will not visit me, (NOT TRUE) they also LOVE you and everyone.
    I spoke to my sisters Doc. he said the same to me.
    GOD only when it is right.

  3. I hold your family in my thoughts and always in my prayers. Please, please give him strength and hold on to hope. Much love. Lisa

  4. Our prayers are with you all. Sarah, you are a wonderful servant of God to help them so much. Thank you for your care. I am praying that HOPE turns into the miracles from God the Father…In Jesus’ Name I pray for His mighty Hand to heal Kevin and to comfort Rachel and the rest of you all.

  5. Praying for the Lords will to be done and for strength to handle each moment, my heart breaks for you both…don’t give up…continue to trust The Lord …..

  6. I’m continually praying for the Lord’s grace, mercy and peace for Kevin, Rachel, family and Lila and Paul. Reading about how his body is having a hard time getting well, a book keeps coming to my mind. If there is anyway you can get “The Makers Diet” by Jordan S. Rubin, I believe it could help in knowing about certain foods that will help the body get well and fight off all the toxins that Kevin’s body is filled with. In this book the author tells his story of how he almost died and through prayer and learning some nutritionally facts he discovered a eating diet that helped heal him. He is a Jew who is a Christian and now a doctor. This has been on my heart for some time to tell Lila, she is the one I know and that’s how I’ve been following the story of Kevin and Rachel.

  7. Lord, I believe you can heal Kevin Hill. I have faith and I have hope. In Jesus’ name. Please restore, renew and revive His body with your precious Holy Spirit and healing power, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

  8. “Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need.” We just don’t always understand what that need really is. We are praying, for all of you.

  9. “Dear Lord, I ask you to turn this weakness into strength, suffering into compassion, sorrow into joy, and pain into comfort for others.
    May your servant trust in your goodness and hope in your faithfulness, even in the middle of this suffering.
    Let him be filled with patience and joy in your presence as he waits for your healing touch.
    Please restore your servant to full health, dear Father. Remove all fear and doubt from his heart by the power of your Holy Spirit, and may you, Lord, be glorified through his life.
    As you heal and renew your servant, Lord, may he bless and praise you.
    All of this I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.
    “”Psalm 119:76 May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.””
    Amen. “

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