My heart is so completely full today. I cannot tell you how much it warms and overwhelms my spirit to have heard such an outpouring of comments as we did yesterday. I too often forget how many of you are walking this journey with us. I have another more detailed post I’m working on about the NIH treatment options and the UCLA options, but this morning I just have to offer a little “devotional” that’s been on my heart.
Just over a week ago, Kevin and I were literally sitting across from each other discussing memorial services. That is not because we didn’t believe God could work a miracle, but rather because we were at the point where a miracle was what it was going to take. I don’t write about it too often here, but melanoma is actually one of the least treatable cancers, especially if you are stage four. It is just one of the very terrifying realities of all this and Kevin and I are pretty practical so we don’t hide from it. It is what it is, and better to discuss the possibilities up front than to pretend it might not happen.
Anyway, in the past week, we have literally seen miracle after miracle. God’s hand has been all over every step we have taken in the past seven days, and it has been one of the most amazing experiences we have ever had. We have walked in perfect surrender, knowing that the next step was the only thing we could count on, and kept begging God to simply make it obvious and to start opening and closing doors.
Today we are in a place of perfect peace and excitement and hope that this treatment will be the magic bullet for Kevin. And trusting that if not that the next one after that will be. We are so confident in God’s plans because of the innumerable ways He has reached out and carried us in the past week. It is impossible to chalk up the number of providential events that have happened over the last week to coincidence.
But here’s the thing. In the simplest terms, a week ago we were sad and mourning, with only the faintest glimmer of hope. Today we are so full of hope and joy that we can hardly stand it. But Kevin hasn’t even started a treatment yet. He has exactly the same amount of cancer that he had a week ago. Who knows, maybe even a little more! God has not healed him. Yet literally everything is different.
I just have to share this with all of you because I think it’s so important to understand that God really does work in real time. He walks with us, carries us, guides us, even when He hasn’t answered our prayers with the “giant” miracle we are looking for. And if I am looking around, I can receive the amazing gift of seeing and feeling His presence no matter the situation. God works miracles and answers prayers on a daily basis by being Emmanuel, God with us. He is here, and He is real, and He is working.
Okay, morning devotion over!
We are on our way right now for Kevin’s FIRST infusion at 8AM at UCLA. Be in prayer that this Anti-PD1 will cause “programmed death” in Kevin’s cancer cells! Amen!